The Integrated

Netflix notified me today that my disc to activate PS3 streaming is in the mail. I was hoping Netflix wouldn’t be an Xbox-exclusive feature among the consoles. It’s nice to see them expand support. How long will it be now before basically every new HDTV, BD/DVD player, game console, or video device of any kind comes with Netflix built-in? I was a subscriber and a big fan of Netflix before they had streaming service at all, and now I’m just waiting for the day that I can turn off disc shipments altogether because everything is available on Instant Play.

For now, though, I’m using my computer monitor as my PS3 monitor on an HDMI switch, so it won’t be that different than loading up an Instant Play movie via the website; it’ll be interesting to see if there’s a difference in picture quality. But someday, I’ll have an actual TV.

I recently saw Tron for the first time, and I’m struck by the ways in which it reminds me of Speed Racer. Both are technological marvels of their day, consisting almost entirely of colorful computer graphics. For both films, that is their only asset. “Ham-fisted” is a terribly inadequate term to describe either of them. Both feature superficial commentary about the hijacking and spoiling of the little guy’s noble endeavors by corporate overlords. At least Tron has a cult following; I imagine it’s mostly people who saw it as children when it came out, and are blinded by nostalgia. I’m not sure Speed Racer will ever enjoy the same kind of niche reverence. Perhaps there’s a group of kids today who will revere it as adult geeks 20 years from now. I shudder at the thought of it. Tron Legacy will most likely have the same result. Very, very pretty to look at. Not much in the way of substance. I am open to other possibilities. Having Flynn become the new MCP, as suggested in the trailer, is a logical next step for the story, but maybe they have somewhere interesting to take it.

The Film: Watchmen (2009)

Director: Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead, 300)

Synopsis: Deconstruction of traditional superhero stories and thesis on human nature, set in alternate-history 1985.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

To begin, I should note that I’ve never read Watchmen. Therefore I approach this film as if it were original—because it is, to me—and I won’t be speaking to its strengths or weaknesses as an adaptation of the source material. It’s clear, however, that there is material missing here, given the frantic, often disjointed pacing and announcement (already) of a coming Director’s Cut. Frankly, I can’t wait. The theatrical cut of Watchmen is a treat, the capstone on a decade of resurgent superhero films.

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While in captivity, werewolves are forced to undergo yearly medical exams.

The Film: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

Director: Patrick Tatopoulos

Synopsis: (Spartacus + Romeo & Juliet) * (vampires + werewolves) + (½ * budget) = movie

This is a movie that was slightly unintelligible to me, because I haven’t seen the first Underworld and I don’t remember the second one. It begins with a brief voiceover just so you’re not totally lost, but for the most part assumes you’ve seen the previous films and are watching this prequel because you want to see the backstory fleshed out. Naturally, I can’t comment on whether it succeeded at that, but I can tell you that it more or less succeeds as a weekend afternoon B-movie. That’s not to say that it’s an especially good movie. You could easily sit in the theater with a Moleskine notebook and jot down a few pages’ worth of bad lines, nonsensical moments, plot holes, and so on. The gist is that Middle Ages vampires hold “lycans”—that’s werewolves—in slavery, with spiked metal collars that would impale them if they tried to shift. A fine plan—except that they’ve allowed Lucien, the first of this breed of lycans who can control when they shapeshift, and who they’re aware has incredible fighting prowess in human form, to learn to work with metal.

He makes a key.

Truly, this belongs among the annals of Great Moments in Supervillainry. In fact, Lucien uses a key to remove his collar three or four times during the film. At some point you’d think the vampires would just replace the collar with one that has no lock, and must be cut off to be removed. It’s not like they plan on ever releasing him anyway, right? So what we end up with here is a literal scrappy underdog story—call it Diet Spartacus—with Lucien eventually passing keys around and inciting a revolt. The werewolf uprising comes entirely because the vampires enslaved them and forced them into hard labor; many scenes of Lucien and other werewolves getting whipped are presented, but there’s never any deeper contrast of the two groups or of ideology. I’m not saying that enslavement is insufficient justification for a group to rise up against their oppressors; but Rise of the Lycans never makes an effort to reach any further for insight or allegory when the opportunities were clearly present. That’s not a travesty—this is just a B-movie, after all—but it’s the case nonetheless.

Arwen rea—erm, Sonja—readies her sword.

Ah, but of course, no Underworld film would be complete without Kate Beckinsale, right? Or, in this case, a vaguely Kate Beckinsale-esque female vampire played by Rhona Mitra. Most of the actors’ performances are passable, even surprisingly good at times (for a B-movie). While there were certainly some cheesy moments courtesy of the script, there were only a couple of times in Lycans’ compact 92-minute running time that I found myself rolling my eyes. No Oscars will be won here but I’ll say that on the whole, the cast was better than I expected. Bruce Nighy has a tendency to start chomping on the scenery a bit, but even he has some pretty good moments. Mitra, however, spends most of the movie looking bored, a sentiment I occasionally shared, so I can’t blame her.

With Rhona Mitra’s vampire heroine Sonja running around in Hollywood faux-medieval armor, and Lucien the werewolf taking center stage in the uprising plot, the stage is set for a riff on Romeo & Juliet, and they waste no time in getting to a steamy vampire-on-werewolf sex scene early in the film, which left me a little puzzled. It raises some obvious questions, which are further reinforced at multiple points later in the film when characters express shock at Sonja consorting with “an animal” or “a beast.” It’s really bizzare, and that’s all I’m gonna say on that.

I have to concede that Underworld: Rise of the Lycans surprised me and kept me mildly entertained for most of its running time, with occasionally earnest performances and some decent action scenes, given its relatively low budget. Room for improvement abounds in all areas—it certainly shows that you get what you pay for these days with CGI—and I doubt this is a film I’ll ever return to, but if you’ve got nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon, there are worse ways to kill a couple of hours.

In “Double Feature,” I take a brief look at two films I’ve seen recently.

The Film: Hellboy II—The Golden Army (2008)

Director: Guillermo del Toro (Blade II, Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth)

Synopsis: An annoying German who resembles Robbie the Robot bosses the other characters around as they confront the evil machinations of a lithe, pasty swordsman.

The Lowdown: Oh, where to begin? This film had such potential. Hellboy has always had potential. The first film was average, an entertaining enough hook to draw the viewer in to the world and characters, as first films in genre franchises often are. Hopes were high for the second film to build on that promise and deliver an experience truly worthy of the concept, as second films often do. Not so, I’m afraid to say, with this film. Hellboy II manages to just even up with its predecessor. For sure, you’ll find the characteristic dark and fantastical creature design and imagery of Guillermo del Toro on display here, and for that alone, it merits a viewing.

On other levels, however, it falls flat. Early on, a plot thread is introduced about Hellboy “coming out” to the world, and his relationship to a world that previously filed him and his pals in the same category as Bigfoot and UFOs. This has real potential, building on Hellboy’s discomfort expressed in the first film with being segregated from regular folks, and exploring how the character copes with the reality that people will hate and fear him even as he puts everything on the line to help them. After reaching the point of Hellboy experiencing the public’s fear and mistrust of him, though, the film dumps this storyline and never calls back, instead barreling straight into a purely conventional end battle with the pasty swordsman and the titular CGI Army.

And then there’s Krauss. I remember hearing buzz before Hellboy II was released in theaters about how great Krauss was, that he was sure to become a fan-favorite character, and so on. I can’t imagine what would have compelled anyone to say such a thing. He’s some kind of formless “ectoplasmic being” residing in a suit with a glass dome for a head, and he spends most of the movie barking and bossing around the other characters, which gets old really fast. The other characters hate him, and so did I. At one point, Hellboy smashes the glass dome on his helmet and he appears to die, and I thought that was the high point of the film. Then he—meaning the ectoplasmic crap that’s actually “him”—appears floating in the room, outside of the suit. Dammit. (I don’t recall that there’s an explanation of what he needs the suit for if he can float around and manipulate things without it.)

None of this ought to suggest that Hellboy II is a horrible film, just a lot less than what it could’ve been; as always, a glimpse into the imagination of Guillermo del Toro is worth a couple of hours of your time, even if that’s all you get out of it. (Though you’re honestly much better off watching his masterpiece, Pan’s Labyrinth.)

Where You Can See It: DVD/Blu-ray.

Verdict: If it interests you in the slightest, go for it. If not, rent Pan’s Labyrinth.

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The Film: Speed Racer (2008)

Directors: Andy & Larry Wachowski (The Matrix trilogy, V For Vendetta)

Synopsis: A vicious army of bright colors violently assault your optic nerves.

The Lowdown: Oh, where to begin? *cough* I should say that I don’t necessarily have a problem with a bright color palette, or even with the visual overload on display here. If nothing else, Speed Racer looks like absolutely no other film you’ve ever seen, and while I may be accused of awarding points for novelty alone, I mark that as a good thing. I like seeing filmmakers take risks and do absolutely crazy shit, because it’s not terribly often that they do. Especially in a big commercial product like this. But yes, this is a big commercial product, and that’s where my gripe with it lies. You see, the film mainly revolves around conflict between the old-fashioned, home-grown mom-and-pop business of the Racer family, who build their own cars and field them in the races, and the major corporate interests and sponsored teams that dominate racing. Young Speed Racer has his innocence shattered in learning just how far the tendrils of coporate power and corruption reach in the racing world, even so far as to fix the outcome of the biggest race of the year, the Grand Prix.

There’s two problems that arise with this. First of all, the anti-corporate message on display here is never delved into beyond the hammy, cackling caricature provided by Roger Allam as the CEO of Royalton Racing. “See! Corporations are EVIL, just like this guy! They ruin the beautiful purity of things to make money, and Royalton’s totally being a dick to Speed Racer about it!” That’s about as deep or well-argued as it gets. Second, and more importantly, railing against corporatism really, really rings hollow when coming from a major motion picture, produced for over $100 million by Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc. ($11.7 billion in revenue in 2007), with promotional support totaling over $80 million, including General Mills, McDonald’s, Target, Topps, Esurance, Mattel, and LEGO. Hypocrisy at its finest.

Oh yeah, and the characters are all thin as a sheet of paper, the dialogue stilted, and the humor flat. But that’s what you expect from an adaptation of a shitty children’s cartoon, right?

Where You Can See It: DVD/Blu-ray.

Verdict: If you have the chance to see it in HD, just skip to the end and watch the Grand Prix for a taste of its unique visual overload. Sitting through the whole thing is a waste of time.

Essentially: As underwhelming as expected.

Hugh Jackman did a fine job as host, though I could’ve lived without the cornball musical numbers. The disappointing results were a function of the disappointing nominees, and there were few major surprises. The mediocre Slumdog (undeservedly) swept most categories it was nominated in. I would’ve gone for The Wrestler, which of course was not nominated. Neither was my favorite film of 2008, 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days, nominated for Best Foreign Film. Like I said, disappointing nominees lead to a disappointing set of awards.

The biggest surprise of the night for most people was probably Sean Penn upsetting Mickey Rourke; honestly though I think they both deserved it and Penn gave a better acceptance speech than I would have anticipated. Aside from that my biggest shock was at The Dark Knight winning Sound Design over Wall·E. I tweeted last night that that was bigger BS than the Slumdog lovefest, but I’m not sure that’s true; it was just more of a shock than the predictable heaping of statuettes upon the Boyle flick. I’ll call it the biggest robbery of the night, how about that?

Here’s hoping for a better year of films in 2009.

UPDATE: It’s come to my attention that 4 Months… is technically a 2007 film, and ineligible this year, although it apparently was shut out of the Oscars last year anyway, so my disappointment at its snub still sort of holds.

In “Double Feature,” I take a brief look at two films that I’ve seen recently.

The Film: Revolutionary Road (2008)

Director: Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Road to Perdition)

Synopsis: 1950s suburbanite couple Frank and April have an American Dream, followed by a Parisian Dream, followed by waking up and yelling at each other a lot.

The Lowdown: This is a Serious Film. It has Relevant Social Commentary. The American Dream maybe isn’t all it’s made out to be, you know? Sadly, Revolutionary Road’s commentary and themes are shouted from the characters’ mouths just so superficially as that lead-in, so verbosely and on-the-nose, that the film is simply wearying and uninsightful. It violates the maxim of “show, don’t tell” continuously throughout its runtime, from a script that reads like a parody of a movie that’s equally superficial but far more subtle.

The good news is that in spite of its script problems, the movie is very well directed and the cast deliver laudable performances with the crap they’re given to work with.

Where You Can See It: It’s opened up to over 1,000 screens now, so check your local theaters. Otherwise, wait for DVD.

Verdict: Skip it.

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The Film: 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days (2008)

Director: Christian Mungiu

Synopsis: An emotionally punishing few days in the lives of two friends, as one of them helps the other get an illegal abortion in late 1980s Communist Romania.

The Lowdown: If Revolutionary Road is on the “tell” end of things, 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days is the epitome of “show.” Without feeling overtly documentary, the camera is pointed at these two young women as they go through their ordeal, and barely flinches or turns away from the grit and horror of it. In this way, the film wisely avoids taking sides in the abortion debate. We are, very deliberately, only passive observers to the unfolding of these tragic and disturbing events—left to ponder them, debate them, and draw our own conclusions. And anyone, regardless of their stance, will be floored by the experience and left with much to grapple with in the days after seeing this film.

Where You Can See It: It’s out on DVD.

Verdict: I can’t recommend it highly enough. So far it’s the best 2008 film I’ve seen. (I still have several left to get through, though. My goal is to post a list & ranking for every 2008 film I saw, sometime before the spring.)